Keep doing the right thing even though your circumstances haven’t changed. God is faithful to His Word and His promises. The question is— will you TRUST Him and hold out long enough to see Him come through for you.
Real quick—if you are in a relationship where you are being verbally, emotionally, physically, and/or sexually abused— please read this post instead. I have a very different and specific message for you.
There’s a scripture for the faithful which says that eventually whatever you sow will not only reap a harvest, but actually catch up and overtake you:
“Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that the plowman shall overtake the reaper, and the treader of grapes him that soweth seed; and the mountains shall drop sweet wine, and all the hills shall melt.” Amos 9:13
Sometimes it can feel so suffocating to be the only one in your home who is trying to make it a peaceful place or do the Godly thing. Voices will whisper to you:
“Why do you even bother?”
“They’ll never change”
“You deserve better than this.”
Be careful. Whose voice do you think you’re hearing? Would God suggest those ideas to you? Surely not. The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Watch your ego. While you may in fact be the only one making an effort right now, let me address those taunts for you:
1) You bother because God has called you to. His followers are to love and honor others regardless of what they get in return. “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” Luke 6:32-33
2) Anyone can change. “All things are possible to Him that believeth.” Matthew 19:26
3) We “deserve” to die on a cross as Christ did. But because of His mercy we can choose to live in blessing. In return He asks us to show mercy to others and to lay down our lives for our friend (John 15:13). By comparison to the sacrifice He made for us, putting up with a difficult spouse and children seems a small price to pay. “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
Just keep going. Keep fighting. It’s always worth it to fight the good fight in spite of the casualties. And remember— just as God tells us we can have peace in the storm, you can also have peace in a difficult home. A peaceful home, afterall, begins in your own heart.
PRECIOUS BLESSINGS,
Thank you for this post, this was exactly what I needed to hear today! I’m finding it is at the top of my prayer list to not let my journey separate me from my family. I keep hoping the things I’ve learned about God will “rub off” on them. 🙂
I have soooo been there, Emily! God has infinite grace for that place! I pray that your light will shine so brightly that it will penetrate everyone in your life! May the blood of Jesus transform everyone you know. You are a treasure. Keep going and say hi anytime. Precious Blessings, Lizzie 🙂
Hi Lizzie, I have to begin by saying I don’t really hate my husband. We were supposed “Christians” when we got married 39 years ago. I was so blind back then! So ignorant! Our marriage was based on lust so there was never a falling in love or anything nice to remember before marriage, just a ton of regret! Thankfully I’ve finally forgiven myself and don’t dwell on that now. When it does come to my mind I just say …. shut up devil…. I’m not that person anymore. Back in 2010 I saw my family being torn apart and I finally grew a brain and got on my knees and asked God to help me! I said… God, how can we be Christians and act the way we do! He has tremendously changed my life in these last seven years! My husband does not pursue God like I do though! I see now we had “religion” before instead of “relationship” which I now have! Something my husband has recently caused to happened is really testing me! My old self would have by now caused all kinds of unkind words to have been said and all kinds of fit throwing to be shown to my husband. It just happened this past Friday, December 8, 2017. I’ve been praying faithfully for Him for, I wish I could say 7 years, but it has been since this past February when another blow came not from God, that struck our marriage! I feel so alone in this. I was searching the internet today looking for anything and I found this that said… When you’re the only one pursuing God article. I’m so grateful for the article. I just feel like I’m the only person on the face of the earth going through my particular situation. I’m praying, declaring, and binding, not God but the other side against this marriage. I’ve seen a huge improvement for sure. But then things happen that I know are not from God. I’m determined to fight. I’m just hoping to find examples from other people going through something similar to see their outcome. I haven’t fought this hard in all my life. Any comments? I’m so happy that you and your husbands relationship is much happier now! I just want to be happy.
Donna– NO! You’re not the only one. And every marriage can change. Have you read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas? You might find it encouraging! Sending love and hugs!! ~Lizzie
hi, the issue that I’m having is not so much about actual submission, it’s when my husband says “see we don’t agree on anything”.
To me, that’s normal, people don’t agree on everything all the time. It just hurts me when he says things like that. When we are talking about things, anyting, am I just supposed to agree with him and not share my own thoughts? Because he doesn’t like it when I have a difference of opinion.
Tammy— I definitely think a healthy relationship allows for dialogue and respectful disagreement! You might just check your tone and body language when you disagree? Years ago I thought my husband and I were just engaged in playful bantering when we disagreed because that’s how my parents operated. I didn’t realize that he actually felt like we were arguing and he felt disrespected. I had to learn how to change these exchanges so we could still share our views, but we both felt safe and honored too. It took some growth on my part for sure!
Every word you speak in these is everything in my heart that i can’t put into words…especially will God ever heal my broken heart.. WOOOW!!!!! THANK YOU FOR THESE SO MUCH. SINCERELY,
A STANDING WIFE
My story is like Donna’s. I’m under the weight of all the negative thoughts regarding my husband and married for the wrong reasons. Your two articles are a lifeline to help me remember what it is God desires of me in dealing with my spouse and the pain it causes at the holidays.
I realize I want to hold on to my anger as a form of punishment for what my spouse puts me through. This is not helping my goal to have a warm and loving holiday and it seems I’m attacked at every level. I feel a war is being waged against me at every turn and my spouse is leading the troops.
Somehow I will try to change my thoughts around. Not in my own strength but I will ask Jesus to help me. Even writing this I feel it’s hopeless. But it’s a new day, and I started it trying to get right in my head so I will trust God is with me and He will help me get through this difficult holiday.
I have to deal with my diminishing brain and memory loss, alcoholism, and hosting Christmas Eve with a partner who does not have the same goals regarding mercy and grace toward others.
All of this is giving me instant migraines just writing it.
Thanks for posting these helpful articles.
God bless.