When my post Let Your Husband Be A Man went viral, I was surprised to hear feedback from just as many men as women about what I had to say. As a result of that post, a powerful follow-up question emerged. It came from multiple men– but also echoed robustly against the walls of my own heart. What about the wives? How do we let our wives be women? How can husbands learn to love their wives well?
After speaking prayerfully with many women, my own husband, and God– today I’m taking a stab at answering this complex question.
What are your goals for your marriage? As a Christian wife, I intend on living an abundant life full of high expectations for my God and my marriage. Check out my list of the 10 things I want to do with my husband in the next ten years.
A strong, humble, amazing woman wrote to me recently. She’d read my viral post Let Your Husband Be A Man and it spoke directly to her heart, but also left her with questions. Her husband had made a decision that she staunchly opposed and she was seeking Godly counsel about what to do. I could tell she was caught between a rock and a hard place, and her sincere heart-cry was to do the biblical, right thing—even if it was going to be uncomfortable.
Can I help? Here is some Godly counsel for the victim of abuse in marriage. These are the 5 steps that you need to take if your husband is verbally, emotionally, sexually and/or physically abusing you.
I know that days like today make you feel like giving up. But don’t. There’s so much to breathe for, live for, fight for, smile for. Let’s remember all the reasons to keep going. There’s nothing like a shift in perspective to make things better.
It can be so hard to be needed by everyone. The husband wants a back rub, the baby wants to be carried, the dog is whining for her dinner and walk, the cat is weaving between my legs meowing incessantly for some attention. There are literally 100 emails to answer, a stack of bills to pay, dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, and relationships that I need to catch up on. Somedays it’s more than I can handle.
Calling all wives and future wives! We are in a powerful position to pray for our husbands. Let’s lift them up today before the King of kings and Lord of lords as only we can as their Covenant Partners in marriage.
He had just let me down again. My heart splintered and my emotions raged. I glared at him across the table and all I could feel was hate. This really isn’t what I envisioned married life would be like at all. I’d given up on ‘happily ever after’ a long time ago. At this point I’d be thrilled if we could just stop making each other miserable. Where was God in this marriage?
I remember glaring at him across our kitchen table with a disdain in my eyes that was equally real in my heart: “When are you going to just man-up and take care of it?”
It was early in my marriage and I didn’t know then what I know now. We had been fighting about something stupid for days, neither one of us willing to stand down. I wasn’t anticipating the power of my words, but they obviously dealt a heavy blow.