Have you ever been in a situation when someone was being unexpectedly pushy and you needed to stand your ground but it wasn’t easy? I recently encountered one of these tricky moments at a baby shower I was attending.
I needed to nurse my baby and I decided to go out to my car for some privacy and down time (because a lady I hadn’t seen in a while had me cornered and wanted to join me while I nursed…) but the hostess felt strongly that I was NOT nursing in the car on her watch! (She really was intending to be sweet!) Here’s how I handled it:
As I try to sneak out the front door to my car…
HOSTESS: Oh, are you leaving already?
ME: (With a big smile) No ma’am! I’m just going out to the car for a few minutes to nurse my baby. I’m having too much fun to head home yet.
HOSTESS: You don’t have to do that! I have a room you can use.
LADY I HADN’T SEEN IN A WHILE: (Rushes up to us) Yes! I already told Lizzie I’d love to join her!
ME: That is so kind! I would actually be most comfortable in the car with my diaper bag. But I really appreciate you both trying to help.
I try walking out the door again.
HOSTESS: Absolutely not! I simply can’t allow you to nurse in your car. I insist that you let me give you a room.
ME: Oh, (insert hostess’ name) you are such a wonderful hostess. I can see you’ve probably been in my shoes before. (I chuckle warmly.) Thank you for your hospitality, but we’re going to go out to the car. We’ll be right back! It’s a lovely shower— I can’t wait to rejoin the group.
I smile and walk out.
Can you see me shaking my head? Good gracious. Of course the hostess didn’t understand all of the nuances so it was extra important to me that I respond to her warmly. I think the key to these situations is to stay calm, smile, and don’t back down. Know your boundaries and decide ahead of time to stick to it. It always helps to memorize a few key lines like:
“That is so kind of you, but…”
“I really appreciate your efforts to help, but…”
“You’ve clearly been in my shoes before, but…”
Do you use any others that can be helpful?? Also, keep sending me your etiquette scenarios!
LOVE YA!
