When being a dad means stepping back- The Peaceful Home

In the last few days, I have come to a few realizations. First, I am no longer 21. My aching lower back tells me. My knees and other joints tell me. The growing amount of gray on my head and in my beard tell me. Heck even the fact that I am ready to go to bed at 10pm tells me. It is 10:15pm right now and I realize I am pretty tired. That being said, the other major realization I came to is that I oftentimes in my life have tried too hard to get people to like me or want to spend time with me. Throughout my life, if that did not work, my next step was to reject that person or persons before I felt like they were rejecting me. Not saying it is right, just what my M.O. has been in my life.

Back to my second point. Each day for several years, I make a point to send a hello text message greeting to my teen and near-teen daughters in the mid afternoon. (They live with their mom in another city.) It has just been my thing. I ask them how their day was, what they did that day, all the normal parent questions we all were asked at some point while we were growing up. Sometimes they would answer, sometimes they wouldn’t. Not unlike what I am sure I did to my parents when they were asking me the same questions growing up. Answer sometimes, not answer sometimes. Anyhow, in my drive to stay connected and be there for the girls, I probably over did it. I would text them and wait for a response. Then text again. Possible response, possibly not. Text again asking how things are going. All this to try and stay connected and show them I care and want to be in their lives. I desperately wanted to communicate with them. But in my own selfish desperation to be accepted and talked to by them, I forgot the most important part: connecting to them at their level. I would often get my feelings so hurt by their lack of response. Or even worse, being told that they would prefer not to text back and forth with me every day. In all of this, I did not ask God what he wanted me to communicate to the girls, or I what I should say to the girls… and I missed the mark. I should have been seeking their hearts without being so demanding and overbearing. I have since backed off, letting them know I am always wanting to chat or text but also giving them a little space. I guess it was the realization that just like I am not 21 anymore, they are not 4 and 2 any more either. They are young ladies. I made the decision and the Lord gave me peace in backing away a little.  I may not like it this way but God’s way and plan is better than mine. It creates peace for all that I cannot do on my own. I pray “Father God. Thank you for this peace. Thank you for reminding me that the girls are your children before they are even mine. Your love for me has allowed me to shed the hurt this may have caused me in the past and now I believe you will guide my steps. Bless the girls and help them to make best choices that honor You. Keep them safe. Any finally Father, thank you for the peaceful home you have given us. It may not always be the most quiet (and sometimes it may seem way too quiet), but it still shows me how much you really love me. I ask this in the name of Jesus!” Amen.