It can be so hard to be needed by everyone. The husband wants a back rub, the baby wants to be carried, the dog is whining for her dinner and walk, the cat is weaving between my legs meowing incessantly for some attention. There are literally 100 emails to answer, a stack of bills to pay, dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, and relationships that I need to catch up on.
Somedays it’s more than I can handle.
Even when I get a moment of peace and quiet, somehow it never feels like enough. I struggle to get recharged, and frankly, I usually use the ‘down-time’ time to catch up on work or chores rather than take care of me. The demands seem endless and every to-do that gets crossed off the list is replaced by three more.
So I invite God to fill the gap. I tell Him I’m overwhelmed and heavy, and I feel guilty for being anything other than grateful. I show Him where I’m falling short—where I’m not good enough. I let Him into my dark spaces— the thoughts I should never entertain, the words that should never escape my lips, and I fall into His presence and His grace.
He is tender. Comforting me the way I comfort everyone else… No, so much better than that. He looks at me and smiles sweetly. He brushes my unwashed hair out of my heavy eyes, lifts my chin and says, “I’m proud of you and you are more than enough.”
Across the movie screen of my mind I see pictures of women, much like myself, who are pouring into their families, work, and ministry with their entire hearts, minds, and strength. I know I’m not alone in my day-to-day struggles.
More pictures flash before me… women who would give anything for sleepless nights with babies.
Single Mommas whose world would change with a husband to help pay the bills, cut the grass, or just watch the baby for an hour.
Families without homes who wouldn’t complain about dishes when they just had the privilege of eating dinner.
Perspective can make all the difference.
Sister, you need to allow yourself to grieve when it hurts, sigh when you’re tired, and feel your true and valid emotions. It’s cleansing. Just don’t stay there.
God cares about feelings— Jesus had them in spades! But we are not designed to carry them, we are invited to take them to throne room of grace and leave them at our Lord’s feet.
We are to think beyond ourselves—of someone who dreams of a life like ours– and look for beauty in the struggle. Yes, feeling, so we don’t become bitter and numb, but then releasing our burdens and remembering everything there is to praise God for.
I pray today that you would find the desire and the strength to leave your pain, your heaviness, your grief, and your frustration at the altar. Choose to say, ‘Lord, I know this is only a season, and I know you are good, all the time. Thank you for reigning over my life.’
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